Strategies

• Catch your child doing something good! Look for times that they are following the rules or behaving appropriately in situations that have been previously challenging. Celebrate their strengths and talents.
• Notice 6 positives before giving 1 correction or negative sounding direction.
• Boast about them in front of other people and make sure your child hears it.
• Use hugs, praise, notes in their lunch.
• Try to not start a sentence with the words “No”, “Stop” or “Don’t" until all 6 pennies have been exchanged to your other pocket.

Using colours and images can help to strengthen non-verbal working memory and increase motivation. Most children with ADHD are visual learners and learn best when they are engaging with the material.

• Using clocks and timers helps with ADHD time blindness and puts it in front of them for reference and to improve time management.

• Creating a graphic organizer of three separate boxes labeled ready, do & done. It is often easier to start with what completion would look like and work back words so the youth knows what is expected of them and has an external reminder of how to accomplish it.
• Ready = things you need to do to get ready, do= step by step break down of tasks needing to be completed. Done= what it will look like once it is done.
• Tip: Adding a timer and reward helps keep the child motivated and uses less brain energy for them!
• Having a visual organizer like this also decreases stress for the child.

• To build self-awareness we can become secret spies that pause and observe our environment. This will help us catch the mood of the room, see what other people are doing and how they respond to social interactions. Helping to teach the child/ teen to be aware of their place in their surroundings.

• ADHD children have excellent imagination and can be very creative. Use these strengths to have the ADHD child/ teen create a story with what they want to remember. Creating these connections allows it to store information in our verbal working memory longer.

• Emotion regulation involves 5 executive function skills: processing, planning, attention, impulse control and adapt response
• The brain shuts down when faced with intense emotions which cuts off connection to these executive functioning skills needed
• Having the child create an emotion regulation plan and practicing it daily will help the child pull on these strategies for comfort when dysregulated
• Example of regulation plan:

My Emotion Plan

Things that make me feel emotional:

Warning signs that I need to follow my plan:

Tools to make me feel better:

People I can talk to:

• Kids help line: 1-800-668-6868
• 310 mental health support: 310-6789 (no area code required)
• www.youthinbc.com online chat available from noon to 1 am

Safe places I can go to:

• Helping our child or teen design a cool down space with visual aids & strategies provides them with a safe space to regulate. This helps to defuse conflicts that are in danger of escalating and gives them space to re-regulate and let their executive function skills come back online. Having them design this space allows them to be more motivated to use it.

• Try to spend 10 to 15 minutes daily with your child
• Guidelines:
  • Allow your child to choose the activity and let them know you want to explore more of what they like to do
  • During the activity: observe, praise, comment on their strengths, listen and learn
  • Throughout the activity avoid: coaching, teaching, criticizing, point out better ways of doing things, do your task better than they are, ask a lot of questions, take over or give commands

• Family meetings are a helpful way for families to connect, communicate, and make collective decisions.
• Step 1: Encourage participation
  • Pair meetings with incentives, let kids choose their role (note taker, leader, snack maker..etc.), keep meetings short and be flexible.
• Step 2: Establish guidelines
  • Choose time & location (routinely), develop agenda (can be posted on the fridge ahead of time to allow family members to add items, only one person talks at time and is kind.
• Step 3: Follow problem solving format
  • What is the actual problem? Define the problem and stick to that issue only.
  • Brainstorm Solutions: think of as many possible solutions as you can. Have one person record the possible solutions. (No matter how silly the ideas are try not to judge or dismiss. Be creative and keep a sense of humor.)
  • Evaluate your options. Look at each solution Will it solve the problem? Is it practical? Does everyone like it?
  • Choose options most agreeable to all. Point out that the goal is to reach a decision everyone can live with. Promote a win/win attitude and flexible thinking.
  • Implement the plan. Who will do what, when and where? How will progress be tracked? Chart? Calendar? What are the consequences for compliance or non-compliance?
  • Evaluate the plan. Establish a time for evaluation. Have everyone sign and date the agreement

• Helps build & maintain the relationship with the child
• Helps the other person understand what they are feeling, reduces the intensity of the child’s emotions and makes problem-solving possible.
• SCRIPT:
  • Step 1 – Listen
    • Be fully present and provide eye contact
    • Ask open-ended questions
    • Ask clarifying questions
    • Paraphrase what they are saying to you
    • Listen for feelings and observe non-verbal behaviour
    • Signal encouragement, avoid distractions and judgement you might feel
  • Step 2 -- Validate from the child/teen’s point of view + why you believe they might feel that way
    • I could understand you might feel/think/want to/ not want to _______________because ________________ x3 (provide 3 reasons for why they could feel that way)
    • Other statements you can try to use when validating:
      • I could imagine you might feel/think/want to/ not want to _______________because ________________ x3
      • It would make sense that you might feel/think/want to/ not want to ____________ because _________________
    • Step 2 example: When I put myself in your shoes, I could understand you might feel angry that you have to get off the ipad because you are having so much fun, and because you aren’t finished the level you are on, and because you don’t want to get ready for bed.
  • Step 3 – Offering Support (either A or B, or both)
    • Picking whether to emotion support or practical support or both depends on where the individual is emotionally. Do they just need emotional comfort in this moment to move through their feelings or do you need to offer practical support as well. We must confirm that we have attended to the emotion before offering any practical support ideas.
    • 3A: Emotional support ideas
      • Comfort (hand, a hug or loving words)
      • Reassurance (“it will be okay”)
      • Communication of positive regard (“I know you are doing the best you can right now”)
      • Communication of belief in the other (“I believe in you”)
      • Communication of togetherness (“We are in this together”, “I want the best for you too”)
      • Space – physical or psychological AND time-limited so the child knows you are coming back (“Why don’t I give you a few minutes and we’ll try again”)
    • 3B: Practical support ideas
      • Proceed with a plan
      • Suggest a distraction activity (walk, movie…)
      • Redirect to another thought
      • Set a limit
      • Offer solutions to solve the practical problem
    • Example Step 3: I know you are doing the best you can right now to get off and I wonder how I can help you log off.

• “I” messages are used in conflict resolution to express emotions and feelings assertively, without putting the listener on the defensive.
  1. I feel_______ (taking responsibility for ones feelings).
  2. when you______ (stating Behavior that is a problem).
  3. because_______ (what it is about the behavior or its consequence that one objects to).
  4. I would appreciate it if you would_____ (offering preferred alternative).

Sit down with the child and use visual aids to work through these steps:

1. What is the actual problem?
2. Define the problem and stick to that issue only.
3. Brainstorm Solutions
4. Think of as many possible solutions as you can.
5. Have one person record the possible solutions.
6. No matter how silly the ideas are try not to judge or dismiss. Be creative and keep a sense of humor.
7. Evaluate your options.
8. Look at each solution
9. Will it solve the problem? Is it practical? Does everyone like it?
10. Choose options most agreeable to all.
11. Point out that the goal is to reach a decision everyone can live with.
12. Promote a win/win attitude and flexible thinking.
13. Implement the plan.
14. Who will do what, when and where?
15. How will progress be tracked? Chart? Calendar?
16. What are the consequences for compliance or non-compliance?
17. Evaluate the plan.
18. Establish a time for evaluation.
19. Have everyone sign and date the agreement.

• A for Antecedent: what happens before the behavior occurs. This can be an internal or external trigger for the individual. It is helpful for caregiver to recognize the antecedent to anticipate a potentially triggering scenario and plan ahead. Caregivers can plan ahead by manipulating the antecedents and/ or providing the youth with tools to support in those situations.
• B for Behaviour: a response the individual is making to the antecedent; this can be positive or negative. All behaviours have a function: sensory, escape attention and tangible.
• C for Consequences: what happens after the behavior occurs. This can be a positive or negative consequence. It can also be natural or artificially created to change the behavior.

Think-through technique is different from reminders in 2 ways:

• They happen before the misbehavior happens.
• Your child does more of the talking rather than you

Implement this strategy prior to an event/ activity that your child frequently struggles with.

1. Choose a neutral time when you and your child are in an even and relaxed mood.
2. Ask your child leading and open questions about the behaviour you want to see more of. Your child already knows the rule; this exercise is about prompting them to cognitively and verbally recall the appropriate behaviour.
3. Example: “When we are at the dinner table, what do we say when we do not want something?”
4. Try to avoid questions that can be answered with a yes or a no.
5. Get your child to answer in detail about what he should do. Only switch from asking to telling, when the child’s responses are incomplete or inaccurate. Then, clarify by asking more questions leading to the correct answer.

• Use these statements to let your child know what is expected of them and what will happen. Always used in the positive. Ex. “If you brush your teeth, then I will read you a story”, not “If you don’t brush your teeth, then I won’t read you a story”
• If you (desired behavior), Then you can (reward) Or When you__________ Then___________

• Remember that children are told what to do throughout the entire day. Providing them with choices gives them a sense of agency and autonomy in their lives.
• Provide your child with discrete and simple choices throughout their day.
• It also promotes taking responsibility for their choices.
• Choices provide redirection and encourage collaboration between you and your child.
• Choices should be age appropriate and easy to follow.
  • Child (4-10 years old) example :“ Would you like a yogurt or a banana?”
  • Child (11-15 years old example): “ Would you like a ride to school or would you like to walk?”

• There are some behaviours that are just unacceptable within your household. Every household is different and these rules depend on your values.
• It is helpful to clearly let your child know what is expected of them BEFORE the problem behaviour occurs.
• These rules should be explained clearly and placed in a highly visual area. This is particularly important for children with ADHD.
• It’s important to explain what will happen when the rules are obeyed and when they are broken. Write down the rules and results of not following them. The consequence for breaking rules should be fair, quick and consistent.

• Children and youth often enjoy contributing to the household and feeling valuable and needed.
• Here are some suggestions on assigning chores:
  • Start Slow- Begin with one task and work your way up to more.
  • Assign chores they are already completing.
  • Ensure chores are age appropriate and the child is capable of doing them.
  • Do not expect them to do it well right away.
  • Support them in developing the skills necessary to complete the task.
  • Praise, Praise, Praise!
  • It is helpful to have a visual aid or chart with assigned tasks.
  • Provide immediate rewards for completing tasks

• The ADHD brain has to work really hard throughout the day and will need more rest than their peers. It is important for them to refuel with a snack and have moments where they are not using their brain. A good replacement for resting the brain is moving the body. Exercise also helps to refuel the brain.

• Basket A issues must be those that:
• Includes behaviors that are dangerous, destructive and unacceptable.
• Important enough to you to induce and endure the child’s meltdown.
• Issues you are willing and able to enforce the consequences for consistently.
• Basket B issues are those that:
• Are important but not worth a power struggle or melt down.
• Call for empathy and problem solving with your child
• Situations where you are looking for a collaborative win/win solution with your child.
• Basket C issues are those that:
• Behaviors that seemed important but are definitely not worth a meltdown.
• Those behaviors which you have decided to “let it go, for now”.

• Catch the behaviour happening and intervene early
• It is helpful for parents to know the signs leading up to behaviour occurring to be able to intervene early [ex. Clenched fist, pacing, saying something negative… etc.]
• Provide minimal attention to problem behaviour, redirect to positive behaviour and reinforce immediately
• Focus on what you want the child to be doing

• Active ignore is used only in situations where there is no risk to safety.
  • Active Ignore is a powerful tool that let’s your child know what behaviors are acceptable and which ones are not.
  • Let the child know that you will ignore them if the behavior continues and communicate the alternative behavior you expect to see.
  • Remind them that you are ignoring their misbehaviour and what is the expected behavior by speaking to yourself or modeling the preferred behavior.
• Example: You are at the dinner table and the child begins kicking the table and demanding food items. Let the child know you will not respond to them until they sit quietly and are polite. Redirect your attention to those at the dinner table who are modeling appropriate behavior and model yourself sitting quietly. Ignore child until they cease kicking the table. Respond to them only when they have complied with your directions.

• Guidelines for a Reward System
• Purchase some colored poker chips.
  • Decide with your child the value of each colored poker chip, i.e. blue= 1 point, red = 2 points.
  • Decide with your child what you are going to use as a bank. Make it a project to decorate it together.
• Compile a list of privileges and rewards with your child.
  • Include Occasional Privileges (Big outings, special purchases).
  • Include Everyday Privileges (Screen Time, Dessert).
• Compile a list of chores/responsibilities.
  • Choose things you often ask your child to do around the house.
  • Include self-help tasks. (Brushing teeth, getting ready for bed).
• Assign how much each chore is worth.
  • Harder jobs pay more chips.
• Calculate how many chips your child will earn in an average school day.
  • How many chips will your child likely earn in a day
• Important Tips:
• Tell your child there are bonus chips for good attitude but hand these out sparingly and intermittently. Give away chips for good behavior even when it is not listed.
• Tell them that chips will only be given for tasks that have been requested of them once. Do not give points if you have had to ask more than once
• Do not take away chips for the first week.
• Ensure that you can restrict privileges (turn off TV, Keep bike locked)
• Try to reward more than you remove.

Rotate off rewards that have lost their appeal to the child while adding new rewards or privileges to keep their interest in earning those rewards high.

There are five rules to keeping this strategy most effective and support teaching the lagging skill.

1. Choose a privilege you can realistically deny your child
2. Only remove privileges for 24 hours or less
3. Only remove 1-2 privileges at a time
4. Try to reward more than you remove
5. Provide opportunities for the child to earn the privilege back through positive behaviour & make sure the child knows what behaviours you’re expecting to see

• Calendars (can be digital): for assignments & due dates only. Encourage (& reward) your child to write notes under each date
• Have Back up Items
  • Identify things that trip up your child when trying to get to school on time (i.e. running out of clean socks, bus tickets, snack items, pens) – have a surplus of them!
• Create a homework schedule
  • Pick a time and space that the child will do homework. Use problem solving communication to pick an agreed upon time for this. Schedule regular break times for them to get up and move around.
• Prioritize
  • Create a colour-coding system to help prioritize assignments (i.e. Blue for low, Yellow for medium, Red for high)
• Externalize Time
  • Use timers to help your child visibly see how much time they have left as they work
• Concentration Aids
  • White noise apps or listening to music with headphones can help with concentration
  • May be a classroom accommodation
• Recording Apps (dragon dictation, google read and write.. Etc.)
  • Allows students who struggle with verbal instruction or writing skills to record important information & play back as needed
• Promote an active lifestyle
  • As Dr. Barkley explained in week 2, exercise helps to refuel the brain and help recharge the child’s executive function skills.
  • Take movement breaks every 10 minutes with 3 minutes of relaxation (10:3 rule)
• Things to remember:
  • 1) Parent role is to teach & inspire, while child leads the problem-solving process and chooses what works (sparking energy vs. power struggle)
  • 2) Systems require regular maintenance (create a routine)
  • 3) Studies show each minute of planning saves 10 minutes of work